Most Recent Milwaukee Journal Sentinel Obituaries

So, I was browsing through the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel obituaries the other day, you know, just to see who's kicking the bucket in the Dairy State. I mean, it's not like I'm planning my own exit strategy or anything, I was just curious. And boy, did I find some characters that could give the cast of a Wisconsin-based sitcom a run for their money!

Meet the Gang

First up, we've got Eugene "Gene" McCarthy, a man who was apparently so dedicated to his job at the Milwaukee Road Railroad that he'd sleep in his office to avoid missing a shift. Now, that's what you call dedication, folks! I mean, I've pulled an all-nighter or two in my time, but never because I was worried about missing a train. Then again, I've never been on a train that wasn't delayed by at least an hour, so maybe that's why I'm not as committed.

Next, we have Dorothy "Dot" Ruzicka, a woman who was so passionate about her job at the Milwaukee Public Library that she'd often bring books home to read. Now, that's a bookworm if I ever saw one! I mean, I love a good book as much as the next guy, but I draw the line at bringing my Kindle to the bathroom. Each to their own, I guess.

Surprising Skills and Hobbies

Now, I know what you're thinking: "These folks sound like they were pretty boring. Just work, work, work." Well, hold onto your cheeseheads, because these folks had some surprising skills and hobbies up their sleeves!

Take Robert "Bob" Schroeder, for example. This guy was a mechanical engineer by day and a magician by night! I mean, who knew that Milwaukee was hiding a real-life Willy Wonka? I bet he could've made a fortune at the State Fair with his magical milk-making machine.

And then there's Mary "Molly" O'Leary, a woman who was so good at knitting that she could make a sweater in just a few days. I mean, I can barely knit a scarf without dropping a stitch every five seconds. I guess that's what happens when you spend your entire life knitting for the Milwaukee Brewers' mascot, Bernie the Brewer. Talk about a niche market!

Last Words and Final Wishes

Now, I don't know about you, but I've always been curious about what people's last words are. I mean, it's not like they can take it back if they say something stupid, right?

Well, according to the obituaries, James "Jim" McGivern had the perfect last words: "I'm not ready to go yet." I mean, can you blame the guy? I'm sure he was looking forward to the Packers' next game or something. Unfortunately, the Grim Reaper doesn't care about your fantasy football lineup, Jim.

And finally, we have Margaret "Maggie" O'Malley, who requested that her obituary include a quote from her favorite movie, The Princess Bride: "As you wish." Now, that's a classy way to say goodbye, folks. I mean, who needs a fancy eulogy when you can have a movie quote that sums up your entire life? I might have to steal that one for my own obituary. Just don't tell my family I'm planning my own funeral already.

In Memoriam

So, there you have it, folks. A bunch of fascinating folks who called Milwaukee home. I like to think that they're all up in heaven, having a grand old time at the ultimate Wisconsin-style potluck. I can just imagine Eugene telling Dorothy all about his magical train rides, while Bob entertains everyone with his incredible card tricks. And Maggie, well, she's probably just sitting back, smiling, and saying, "As you wish."

Rest in peace, Milwaukee. You were home to some truly unique individuals. And remember, folks, life's too short to not knit a sweater for your favorite beer-loving mascot. So get out there and make your mark on the world, just like these amazing people did.